george carlin government doesn't care about you

People think it puts them above the fray. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. A boring game for boring people. I'll give ya somethin' to put in your mouth!" Its never going to get any better. You're reading a nice story, and suddenly the writer has to stop and describe the clouds. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. Save the planet? BAD WORDS." "The planet is fine. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. They'll get it. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. 24. Another failed mutation, another closed-end biological mistake. Thats the only thing. You see all, sooner or later. Who said so? Here's what happened: I give you my revised list of the Two Commandments: "Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie", and "thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than the one you pray to". Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt! DBS MORNING SHOW & OBITUARIES 25TH APRIL 2023 APRIL 2023 - Facebook Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doin' it. I'm gettin' tired of guys who smoke pipes. Guy with a fuckin' pipe! But you ever notice there's no war on homelessness, is there? He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . Some people see things that are and ask, Why? We're all fucked. What's the alternative to pumping out a unit every nine months? The Zen Teachings of George Carlin, a Comedian Who Pointed the Way Judd Apatow and Michael Bonfiglio's new HBO documentary "George Carlin's American Dream" takes viewers on a tour through. Must be another one of those "miracles.". That's my motto. George Carlin- The official home of one of the most important and influential American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. I am perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling that portion of the room I don't occupy. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Dont look for it. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. Offer good while supplies last. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Doesn't anyone in this country stop and LOOK AT THINGS anymore? Now there is another phrase I dearly love. No contest! After that, they don't want to know about you. Just like homeless people. When it comes to Gods existence, Im not an atheist and Im not an agnostic. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. For myself, I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way. And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Happy was into grass and grass alone Happy, that's all he did. Deal with it. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people! Uber is a mobile app that hails cabs for you. No. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Plus he knocked up your daughter. We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Whens the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? 37. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. Two to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, allow six weeks for delivery. A country with a five-trillion-dollar debt is giving advice on handling money? Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Like the public. And you might have noticed something else. Feel free to reach out and connect. 6. No muss, no fuss, no risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, no one will call on you, no payments of interest 'til September. They own all the important land. Now, some people like to twist that around. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. The only country that could invade America is America! A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. the government doesn't care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Pretty neat deal, huh? Everybody's going to save something now. And the other two-way word is "prick". In fact, I regularly pray for serious, life-threatening rodeo injuries. I'm tired of that asshole. BREAKING: 100 days . It sounds like this: "What, they have bigger dicks? What the fuck do white people have to be blue about? There are no innocent victims. People who have large gums and small teeth. Really. I call it circling the drain And the circles get smaller and smaller and faster and faster, if you watch the sink empty Huish! It's like watching flies fuck! First thing- "Hey! You realize that most of the right-to-lifers are in favor of the DEATH penalty? The best (and funniest) George Carlin Quotes on politics, life & death and of course the American government You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. Broadly speaking. A man with only one lip. And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesnt want you to do. It's all over the language now "pre"-this, "pre"-that, place the turkey in a "pre-heated" oven. That is a true oxymoron if I've ever heard one . Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day. George Carlin is Back from the Dead to Haunt Trump in Devastating On Election Day, I stay home. But if he starts that smart-ass fly shit, buzzing my head and repeatedly landing on my arm, he is engaging in high-risk behavior. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. They want obedient workers. George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography Some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply. The Official Home of George Carlin- georgecarlin.com So at best the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. That's why we have a drug problem, I feel; it's because everyone has access to drugsit's all those DRUG stores, right? People don't know that, tell them when they're in your car. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? But dont participate; it will be your death. Let's get started! And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.". 10. And I would admit, that somewhere underneath all this there's a little flicker of a flame of idealism that would love to see it all huish! Fucking is legal. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Thats the problem. Author of the memoir The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses. But, when it comes to changing the language, I think they [feminists] make some good points, because we do think in language, and so the quality of our thoughts and ideas could only be as good as the quality of our language. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. These people were given. Pretty neat deal, huh? So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. Dole tried to hide it, didn't he? You have owners. We had great gifts, and we gave it all up for both money and God We gave it all up to superstition, primitive superstition, primitive shit Invisible man in the sky, looking down, keeping track of what we do, make sure we don't do the wrong thing, if we do, he puts us in hell, where we burn forever. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Were so self-important. That's the whole purpose of recording; to do it beforehand! We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. They just care about having a comfortable place. The Ballad of 'Deepfake Drake' - The New York Times You don't have to be a history major or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy theory. (. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. According to these guys, Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. This is an outmoded idea. They should be giving their money to you. They own you. Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 504 35K views 12 years ago Someday the people of this country are gonna realize that the government. Why would he give us a certain. No cash? The truth is, we dont have people like that. Now there is another phrase I dearly love. After that, they dont want to know about you. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Because I think we squandered great gifts. It simply does not give a fuck about you! Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshiper. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 23. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. I think we need some new Christmas carols with a more modern approach. Well, of course it was pre-recorded! Plus he knocked up your daughter. They want your fuckin' retirement money. Yeah, usually they're already there. Were so self-important. Stop that! But even after the egg is fertilized, it's still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins, and not every egg makes it that far. Of course, I'm sure the reverend isn't that comfortable with anything that has two knobs on it. Organized religion and organized crime working together to help build a better America. At least he's honest about being, Everybody knows by now, all businessmen are completely full of shit; just the worst kind of low-life, criminal, cocksuckers you could ever wanna' run into a fuckin' piece of shit businessman. I know that. Dont you just wanna puke in your soup when one of these fat, balding, overweight, overaged, out of shape, middle aged, male movie stars with sunglasses jumps onstage and starts blowing into a harmonica? If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." "Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. And a mindless game, too. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. With Nina Feldman. And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying thank you. Nine years ago today we lost not only one of our better comics, but one of our most vital and intelligent voices. The mayfly lives only one day. They own all the important land, they own and control the corporations that've long since bought and paid for, the senate, the congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the . You see all, sooner or later. They never mention that part to us, do they? How about "Holy Christ, the Christmas Tree's on Fire"? Because theres no money in that problem. That's what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. Just for you? This is the best we can do folks. And that's the problem. George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast Not me. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. How can [God] be perfect? And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. I say, "Hey, professor! If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Second, I don't vote, because I firmly believe that. Everybodys going to save something now. 25. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York City, to Mary (Bearey), a secretary, and Patrick John Carlin, an advertising manager for The Sun; they had met while working in marketing. Something lofty and poetic: "Nay Family Way"; something earthhy and crude: "Mom Bomb"; something for the youngsters, "Junior Miss"; here's a real man's product, "Inconceivable"! It creates a hostile work environment." His medium was stand-up, but he touched on issues of race, class, politics and American life saying the kinds of things no one else dared. It's convenient. And complaining about the politicians. Thats our history. We have a son in public school who hasn't shot any of his classmates yet. If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein's army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large. And if you act now, we'll include an extra added, free, complimentary bonus gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality, premium select, gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass and garden hose in a genuine imitation leather style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. They call them the. This is the best we can do. Let me get a sip of water hereyou figure this stuff is safe to drink? Say "you assholes are goin' for a ride!". He'd say, "I'm goin' upstairs and fuck your grandmother." If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Everyone says they suck. Never join a group that has a name. Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. No problem. And Bush is pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. The planet will be here, and well be gone. This is what we have to offer. Everything He ever makes dies., 9. During bombing raids in Iraq, the media liked to say that Saddam Hussein used people as, The fanatics have another name for fetuses. Enjoy! Garbage in, garbage out. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Im just not close enough to get the job done.. In many ways, the comedian has the ability to be the philosopher of our era, a social critic and theorist whose words have the ability to shape public thought. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. You might have noticed that I never complain about politicians. That is a true oxymoron if Ive ever heard one: Civil War. Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, it's our way of saying thank you. I'm here to help. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Theyre privileges. Guys would say, "Come back here and fight like a person," And we'd all sing "For it's a jolly good person." He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. So maybe it's not the politicians who suck; maybe it's something else. For twelve dollars. Any lawyer who refers to the police as the "Federalies." ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. And we wont leave much of a trace. People I can do without. So self-important. I love that. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. It will be coincidental. It's not an attitude in line with the American Spirit, but there it is: we all screw around first. Seems like a big waste of time to me! Save the planet! Your email address will not be published. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Regarding public Christmas displays: At some point, someone who worked at Rockefeller Center must have said, "Boys, I have a great idea for Christmas. So let me ask you something: how's everybody doing tonight, huh? Edited by Liz O. Baylen and Mike Benoist. 46. We get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. On the radio. A lot of these cultural crimes I've been complaining about can be blamed on the Baby Boomers, something else I'm getting tired of hearing aboutwhiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "GIMME IT, IT'S MINE!" And they all vote. Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeor. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) You rarely see a bumper sticker that says 'Save the tumors'. 38. So he's gotta do everything he can to fuck the other guy a little bit faster and a little bit harder. It's our differences. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think!

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george carlin government doesn't care about you

george carlin government doesn't care about you